


Velleity

by itai



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Ironstrange Haven, Ironstrangegiftexchange, M/M, Post-Endgame, Steve and Tony both getting the endings they deserve, post-IW
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-12-26 00:31:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18272171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itai/pseuds/itai
Summary: Half of humanity had been restored, and families were reunited. Steve and Tony spend some time doing some well needed self-searching.





	Velleity

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my submission for the ironstrange gift exchange! This is for tumblr user Why-cant-i-die?127. Hope you like it and are satisfied with the result! This was super fun to write <3

          After the final battle with Thanos, the world took its time in repairing itself of all the damage the Mad Titan had created. The Avengers busied themselves with reuniting families and undoing the physical damage done to the cities when half of humanity just...Vanished. Tony went to find Pepper first and they exchanged words of reassurance and comfort, a hug that lasted just long enough, and a final moment together with Tony resting his tired head on Pepper’s lap.

 

The next morning, he woke up alone.

 

At first, Tony was worried. And then he saw the note on the counter, and he understood. He knew he was high-maintenance. Even he wouldn’t be able to handle himself for as long as Pepper had. This parting was just long overdue. 

 

But that didn’t make it hurt any less.

* * *

          Steve had retired from his position, gratefully, once the final mission was over. He handed the shield to Sam, who was hesitant to take it but agreed once Steve told him this wouldn’t be the last time they were seeing each other, and he would always be around if any of them needed him. Sam told him to at least talk to the others properly before he left, and Steve did: Natasha punched him on the shoulder and demanded he kept in touch with her otherwise she’d scout him out, Bruce hugged him (and might have cried a little into his shoulder), Clint thanked him for helping keep his family safe, Peter clung to him like a koala and told him that no one could ever replace him (with Sam still well within earshot), Scott high-fived him and gave him his pack of “magical” playing cards, and Carol handed him a pager to keep in touch with. Of course, that still left Tony. Steve hadn’t talked to Tony properly, and he knew it was childish of them to keep being hostile for this long, but Steve no longer felt anger or tension with Tony. If anything, he just wanted them to go back to being friends. 

 

He had heard about Tony’s relationship with Strange, and while Wong denied them having any such relationship, Steve knew Strange wouldn’t give up the time stone for just anyone. He understood the feeling of laying down his life for someone he cared about. 

 

After packing up all his stuff, Bucky was calling up a taxi to take them to the airport but Steve stopped him, “There’s one last visit I need to make.”

* * *

          While New York went back to its life of normalcy, Tony was still suffering from the after effects of...Everything. He didn’t remember the last time he slept, since every time he closed his eyes he would see Pepper slip from his grasp and into the flames, and Peter dissolve into ash right before him. All of that, he was unable to prevent. His fault. The breakup of the Avengers, that was also on him. 

_ It’s better this way _ , Tony thought to himself,  _ you were always more suited for isolation _ . Honestly, he had thought his days on the ship would be the last, but fate has a cruel way of playing with him sometimes. Tony kept himself locked up in his mansion, using it as a way of “getting over” Pepper’s departure and wallow in his self-loathing. He had turned his phone off and ignored any sort of tapping that came from the window when Peter tried to get into his place. It was daily, and the boy wouldn’t let up for hours.

 

That’s why, when Peter didn’t seem to show up one day, Tony got out of bed to make himself a coffee. He decided doing something productive might help him get over the whole self-loathing process. Still, he didn't see much point in creating anything. The fight was over, so there was no need to build or improve on his suits. And besides, Tony didn’t think the world needed his creations anymore. Not after all the destruction its caused. 

 

Tony nearly spilled the coffee beans when Peter barged into the room, greeting him with a wide smile on his face. “FRIDAY, what’s the meaning of this?” Tony demanded into his earpiece. “It seems he knew the password to the front door, sir.” FRIDAY responded, and Tony closed his eyes, immediately recognizing who leaked Peter the information. He would have to talk to Fury later.

 

“What are you doing here? And why is  _ she _ here?” Tony pointed to Mantis who stepped out timidly from behind Peter. “To see you, of course!” Peter said, and looked back at Mantis, “I thought she might be able to help. She’s really good at helping people to relax and look into their feelings, right Mantis?” Mantis nodded with a small smile, “In simple terms, that’s right.”

 

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to stop the headache that he could feel starting to grow. “Peter...I’m fine. I don’t need to be put under a spell-”

 

“No offense, Mr. Stark. But you haven’t left your house in over two weeks. And Mantis is only here for a few more days, so!” Peter gave an exaggerated gesture. Tony stared at him, “Are you trying to push her on me like a limited edition product?” Peter sighed and walked over to Tony to take his hand, leading him over to Mantis, “I really think this will help you, Mr.Stark. Please trust me on this.” Tony’s chest tightened when he felt Peter’s hand over his. It felt like just yesterday when he had to bear with the boy fading away in his arms. After all Peter went through-after all Tony put him through, Peter deserved to be heard.

 

“...Alright, alright I’ll give it a try. But don’t get your hopes up.”

* * *

          Steve arrived at the Sanctum in New York and gazed up at the large structure before going to knock on the door. He waited for an answer but after a while tried the doorknob and was surprised to find it unlocked. He opened the door slowly before peering inside. It didn’t seem like anyone was in the main lobby. Steve welcomed himself in, wheeling his large suitcase behind him before letting the door close behind him. “Hello? Anyone home?” Steve called, hearing his voice echo in the large chamber.

 

“I saw you coming from the bus stop.” 

 

Steve turned to the sound of the voice and saw Strange come down from the large flight of stairs. Ah, that’s why the door was unlocked. Steve smiled in a friendly manner and waited until Strange was standing in front of him. They both shared the same, examining look, as if they were comparing their physiques.They both opened their mouths to speak at the same time, but Steve closed his to allow Stephen to go first. 

 

“I see you’re planning for a trip.”

 

Steve looked down at his suitcase before smiling a little, “Yeah. More of a permanent one. Just needing some time...Away, you know.” He wasn’t sure where they were going to make their home, but Steve was done with chasing time. He was finally going to live in it. “Anyways, I just wanted to come and, thank you and hopefully tie up loose ends.”

 

“You’re here to talk about Tony.”

 

Steve looked at Stephen with a surprised expression, “How did you…”

 

“It was written all over your face the moment you walked in.” Stephen said with a single-shoulder shrug. “Let’s sit down and talk.” He made a motion with his hand and Steve saw the room shift around them before he found himself seated on a couch across from Stephen. “Tea?” Stephen asked. Steve took a moment to collect himself again before shaking his head, “Uh, no. I’m good.” Strange shrugged and conjured a china cup that was already filled with tea, “Suit yourself.” As he took a sip, Steve rapped his knuckles against the arm of the couch. 

 

“...I just wanted to thank you for all you’ve done, for the world and for Tony.” Steve said. “I do it because I love him.” Stephen stated from behind the rim of his cup. Steve looked at him with wide eyes, not having expect such a blunt response. “Ah. Right, of course,” Steve said while running his fingers through his hair, “You wouldn’t be able to do all of that if you didn’t.” 

 

“I would’ve.”

 

Steve looked up at Stephen, “I’m sorry?”

 

“I would have done it even if I didn’t love him.” Strange said while taking another sip. Steve paused for a moment to indicate he wanted Strange to keep going. “That man...Has given the world, to so many people. And expected nothing in return. In fact, he rejects such gestures directed back at him.” Stephen said while putting the cup on his lap, “It’s almost damaging, the amount of selflessness he has. I’d say it’s his worse trait.” 

 

Steve was silent for a longer time after that, just staring at the carpet as if there was something on it. When he spoke again, his voice was smaller, “I feel like...I have no right to face him. Not after what I did to him.” He shook his head. “Did you not meet again after the dispute?” Strange asked, and Steve shook his head, “We met briefly, before facing Thanos for the last time. I think he expected that to be our last meeting. Once the battle was over, he just...Left.” Strange was silent, allowing Steve to speak everything from his mind. “I think we’ve both accepted the fact that there was no way we could truly forgive one another for what we’ve done. And I hate leaving things ambiguous like this, I truly hate it. But I feel like if I went to see him, it would only hurt him more. I’m just a thorn in his side he can’t get out.”

 

“And that’s why you’re leaving?”

 

Steve shook his head, “I should have retired a long time ago. I think I need to do some self-searching, and not live just for battles. My own stubbornness has gotten many people hurt, and it’s high time I started working on it.” Strange smiled a little and rubbed his thumb along the rim of the glass, “Well, if that’s the case, then you have my full support.” 

 

Steve blinked and stared at Strange for a second before laughing, “Thanks man, that means a lot.” He rose back up from the seat, “Well, I should be on my way. I’ve got a plane to catch in twenty.” Strange nodded and placed his cup on the counter before gesturing towards the door, “I’ll walk you out.” They made their way back out to the main lobby and before opening the door, Steve turned to face Strange,

 

“Take care of him, okay?” Steve’s chest felt tight as forced a smile while looking into Strange’s soft eyes. “...You have my word.” Strange said, and Steve nodded before placing his hand on the other’s shoulder and patting it firmly. The cloak draped on Strange’s shoulders moved up as if to shake Steve’s hand, and Steve laughed a little before gripping the cloak by the corner of the fabric and then letting go.

 

“Safe travels, Captain Rogers.” Strange said as he opened the door for Steve. “It’s not Captain anymore. Just Steve is fine.” Steve said as he gave the other a two finger salute before stepping out and back into the streets of New York. He gave Strange one last wave before dragging his suitcase down the brick roads of the city.

 

_ “What do you think is going to happen? When all of this is over?”  _

 

_ “We get to go home.” _

 

_ “Together?” _

 

_ “Together.” _

 

Steve’s lower lip quivered as his eyes glazed from the memory, but he bit it back and took a deep breath, looking up and allowing the warm sun to hit his tanned skin. 

* * *

          Tony was seated on the couch with Mantis who was sitting in a proper posture on the edge of her seat. He had forced Peter to leave them alone for this part, just so he could regain what little privacy he had left in his life. The news went crazy after the final battle with Thanos and half of humanity was restored. Paparazzi went crazy outside his door, and Tony had to resort to using his drones to air horn them all away.

 

“Are you...Comfortable?” Tony asked in reference to how Mantis was sitting. The woman looked at him with a confused expression before realizing what he meant, “I’m alright. I wish to present myself politely as a guest.” Tony nodded slowly while leaning his arm back against the couch, “Right well...Make yourself at home.” Mantis turned to face Tony and hold her hands out with her palms facing up, “Shall we get started?”

 

Tony swallowed nervously before nodding and holding a hand out for Mantis. The girl gently took his hand and he was surprised at how smooth her skin was. She gently stroked the back of his hand and almost seemed to be massaging it lightly within her hands. Either way, Tony wasn’t complaining. It felt like heaven. After a few seconds of just having his hands massaged, Mantis spoke up again, “Are you ready?” Tony nodded, realizing how much more relaxed his muscles were now. That was probably what the ritual was for. 

 

Tony allowed his eyes to close while Mantis leaned forward a little and her antennas glowed white. “I sense...Pain, physical, mental and emotional. And grief for those lost. Betrayal and anger towards the last one to leave-” Tony pulled his hand back before Mantis could finish, “Alright, I think I’m good,” he gave a nervous laugh, but the expression on Mantis’ face showed that she wasn’t in on the joke. It’s funny, it was one thing to reflect on his own, but it was another to have someone tell him  _ exactly _ what he was feeling. It felt invasive, uncomfortable, and like he was rehashing old wounds. 

 

“Sir, I need you to trust me.” Mantis said as she held her hand out for him again, “The beginning step to recovery is acceptance. If you suppress your emotions, they will becomes like knives and stab you for years.” She spoke as if she understood and had been there herself. Tony took a deep breath rubbed his hands over his tired face, fighting the urge to flee and go back to being burrowed under the blankets like a hermit. “Alright, alright fine! Just...Be gentle.” He reached out tentatively towards Mantis and allowed her to take his hand again.

 

Mantis allowed Tony to calm down slightly before resuming her examination, “You’re also feeling...Anxiety. An overwhelming amount. Enough to keep you up at night and cause you fatigue, but it haunts you nevertheless. A common symptom of post traumatic stress disorder, which might have started long before you fought Thanos.” Tony shuddered a little within Mantis’ touch. “Oh…” Mantis’ voice seemed to change in tone, “but there’s hope too. And love. So much love. Despite everything...You still love the people in your life, even those who have left.” Tony couldn’t help opening his eyes, and his heart stuttered when he saw Mantis with tears streaming down her face. He pulled his hand back instinctively and placed it on the couch, “Woah, are you alright?” Mantis sniffed before nodding and wiping her tears, “Yes. I’m alright. My ability allows me to feel what the host is feeling, so the production of tears is a common side effect.” Tony was pretty sure that was called empathy. 

 

“I’m sorry, my brain isn’t the most pleasant to be inside-” Tony said but was cut off by Mantis shaking her head, “No, it is a brilliant mind. It is extremely, extremely beautiful, how capable it is after all it’s been through. I’ve never seen anything like it.” Mantis said while wiping her cheek again, “But there are still barriers. You’re suppressing it. You refuse to let yourself feel.” Mantis stated, and Tony simply shrugged, “I was never one for sentiments.” 

 

“To protect yourself.”

 

Tony bit the inside of his cheek, “...It’s safer, that way.” He nearly flinched when he felt the touch on his cheek but relaxed when it was just Mantis caressing his face, “Because you don’t want to hurt anyone else.” Tony took another breath, shakier this time, “I have a problem...Of loving too fast and too hard. It tends to drive people away.” It felt scary, to acknowledge it out loud. Acknowledgment usually meant you had to do something about it, but Tony wasn’t sure how to deal with this side of himself. “So you think you’re unworthy of love. That it would be easier to be on your own.” Mantis translated Tony’s feelings into verbal speech, and Tony shut his eyes tightly, feeling a tear slip from the corner of his eyes and fall onto Mantis’ palm. “I just...Have a track record of letting people down.” Tony tried to laugh, but what came out instead was a sob and suddenly Tony was covering his face and his back was hunched as he completely broke down. Mantis brought him into her arms and Tony pressed his head against her shoulder while continuing to sob like a child, wetting his palms and feeling the tears drip onto his shirt. He had a feeling Mantis probably did something to allow him to become emotional, but he wasn’t angry at her. If anything, he felt extremely grateful. Tony hadn’t cried like this in a long time, and the last time it wasn’t out of willingness. 

 

Tony didn’t know how long he stayed in the girl’s arms, but when he pulled back his face was sore and his shirt was stained with his tears. “Shit, I’m sorry,” Tony said while sniffing and wiping his face as he leaned to the side against the couch. “It’s alright. I’m glad you chose to remove those barriers, sir. Even if it was for a little while.” Mantis said, and placed her hand on Tony’s shoulder to pat it gently, “If you’d like...I can help you get some rest as well. It is my specialty, after all.” She said with a small smile. Tony sniffed again before nodding and wiping his cheek with his wrist, “That would be great...Thank you.” She guided Tony slowly by the shoulders to have him laying with his head on her lap. “I hope after this...Sleep comes easier to you, sir.” Mantis said in a soft voice before placing a palm against Tony’s forehead, and he felt the world around them slow before his eyelids got too heavy to hold open, and he fell into the kindest sleep in his entire life.

* * *

          Tony awoke back in his bed, and to the sound of something being fried in the kitchen. He practically shot up and blinked the sleep from his eyes before focusing on Stephen’s figure, “S-Strange?” It almost felt like he was still dreaming, and he watched the taller male make his way over to the bed with a cup of water. The man sat on the edge of the bed without saying a word before looking over at Tony, “So...How was your meeting with the palm reader?”

 

Tony simply stared at Stephen in silence before bursting into laughter and falling back on the couch with his hands over his eyes, in hysterics. Gradually, the laughing turned into sobs and Tony could feel himself wet the pillow beneath his head with his tears. The barriers were gone. His feelings were right in front of him. He was vulnerable. And he felt...An amazing sense of peace that he hadn’t felt in years.

 

“How are you feeling?” Stephen asked as he put the cup aside and took Tony’s hand to interlace their fingers. “...Sad, scared...Still a little angry. But,” Tony cupped Stephen’s cheeks even though the man never once looked away from him,

 

“So,  _ so _ happy.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on my main blog cacaobread.tumblr.com !


End file.
